The Beauty Spell: Reclaiming My Humanity Through Ritual
The Long Drought
For weeks, my "Somatic Sanctuary" has been a place of pure survival. When you are managing POTS and DDD, sometimes the only goal is to breathe. In those seasons, the "spoons" required for a full beauty routine simply don't exist. The rituals that once made me feel like me fell by the wayside, replaced by the clinical necessity of just getting through the day.
But last night, the winds shifted. With my partner's help in the bath, I found a sudden, rare pocket of energy. And I decided to use it to cast a spell.
The Anatomy of the Spell
This wasn't about vanity; it was about intent. Each step was a brick being laid back into the wall of my self-worth:
*The Clearing: Shaving away the weeks of "survival growth."
*The Anointing: Smoothing moisturizer over my skin and tracing my lash line with serum, inviting growth and softness back into my life.
*The Crown: Wrapping my hair in a towel, a simple act of containment and care.
*The Scent: The swipe of deodorant and the deep, calming pull of lavender lotion on my hands.
The Robing of the Priestess
And then, the most magical part of all. I reached for a long, flowy, breezy white nightgown. Slipping that cool, white fabric over my fresh, clean skin felt like the moment the spell truly sealed.
I wasn't wearing "patient clothes." I was wearing my mantle. In that moment, I wasn't an imperfect human fighting pain; I was a living, breathing High Priestess of my own sanctuary, draped in softness and light. That flowy gown was my act of non-verbal magic.
The "Impossible" Win: The Toothbrush
And then, the big one. I brushed my teeth. For many, that’s a mindless 2-minute task. For those of us with chronic illness or neurodivergence, it can feel like climbing Everest. Doing it felt like the final seal on the ritual. It was a declaration: I am worth the effort.
Feeling Human Again
As I settled back into my room, smelling of lavender and feeling the cool air on my fresh skin, I didn't just feel clean. I felt human. I felt like Ashley again, not just a patient or a set of symptoms.
If you are in a season of drought right now, know that it’s okay if your only "ritual" is surviving. But when that tiny glimmer of energy returns (even if it’s just enough to put on one drop of lotion) take it. Treat it like the magic it is. You are worth the spell.
With love and light, Ashley
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