The Alchemy of Home: From Workshops to Sanctuaries

 The Lessons of the Province 

    Lately, I’ve found myself captivated by a specific corner of YouTube: women living in the rural provinces of the Philippines and other parts of the world. I watch them transform humble, non-glamorized houses into true homes... Spaces where their families are raised in safety and simplicity.

It has shifted my perspective. In the West, we are surrounded by a culture of "more," yet watching these creators reminds me that we often live in luxury without even realizing it. It has crystallized the life I want: a simple, slow-living existence. To live modestly, yet comfortably, sipping my coffee and appreciating everything we have... Even when it isn't "ideal."

Starting from Scratch 

    My path to this quiet morning coffee was not a straight line. It was a jagged escape. When I finally left my abusive past, I left with nothing but two bags of essentials and what my gecko, Yennifer, needed to survive.

We were starting from zero. I spent two weeks on a friend's couch, followed by a month in a women’s shelter. At that time, I was still able to work, and my only mission was to keep Yennifer happy and healthy. But as my health began to decline (the onset of the "Dizzy Sea"), I had to move again. We ended up in a stranger's studio, sleeping on a blow-up mattress. Through every move, Yennifer was there, a tiny life depending on me, and I refused to fail her.

The Sanctuary in the Garage 

    Eventually, my aunt and uncle took us in. For a month, I lived in their sitting room behind a curtain. It wasn't private, but it was warm, and we were fed. I was deeply grateful.

Right before Christmas, we cleared out a workshop in their garage. It had no windows. It was dark, and even with lamps, the shadows lingered. But it had a door that locked. To me, that dark workshop was a palace because it was mine. It had a heater, and most importantly, Yennifer was safe.

However, the isolation began to wear on my mental health. I started feeling unsafe; the intrusive thoughts were loud. Then, the unthinkable happened.... I was assaulted in that garage by a stranger. It broke me in ways I am still mending. And yet, even then, I stayed grateful. I was grateful for the roof. I was grateful that Yennifer was getting the care she never had in the darkness of my previous life.

The Power of the Clearing 

    Then, the universe shifted. My now-partner came and rescued us from that hardship. She brought us into her apartment, and my life changed drastically. We became a "power couple." Her dogs became my dogs. For the first time, I had a truly safe place to just be.

In that safety, I found my Goddesses. I found my voice. I found a peace I didn't think existed for someone like me.

Radical Gratitude in the Struggle 

    Today, things aren't "perfect" by the world's standards. We struggle to keep this roof over our heads and food on the table. But our life is still amazing.

The lessons of the province stay with me: if we ended up in a truck or a motel, I would still find the gratitude. There are so many out there without a safety net, and my heart breaks for them. My end goal is still that slow, peaceful life in a permanent sanctuary, but until then, I will never take a single wall or a single locked door for granted.

Home isn't about the crown molding; it’s about the safety inside.

With love and light, Ashley.




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