The Sovereign Pivot: Honors of the High Priestess, Flares, and Gentle Magic

    Yesterday was a "do nothing" day. I used to call them lazy days, but I am intentionally changing my vocabulary. When I use the word lazy, it carries a heavy, unearned guilt—a sharp sting that makes me feel horrible, especially now that my partner has gone back to work and is out in the world grinding for our future.

And before I go any further, I have to brag about her for a moment. She is absolutely excelling in her new position. As a supervisor, she has already faced some inevitable backlash from other employees, but she handled it with an abundance of grace. Her own supervisor is completely blown away by her. By her fourth day, she was already flying solo and helping the other two new hires find their footing. This job fits her so perfectly it feels as though it was custom-made for her soul. She is genuinely happy, and she brings that radiant, upbeat energy right back home with her after her shift. I absolutely love sitting with her and listening to the highlights of her day.

But back to that "do nothing" day. I realize now that my body was quietly bracing for a storm. Yesterday's stillness was the prelude to a POTS flare, and today, I am flaring terribly.

Yet, the world keeps spinning, and there are still things that need to be done. With my partner back at work, I am being forced to do more for myself, even on my lowest-spoon days. And you know what? As difficult as it gets, it is showing me what I am truly capable of. I am capable of getting things done. I am capable of holding down the fort and keeping our dogs and our environment calm, steady, and welcoming for when she walks back through the door. I might be utterly exhausted by the time evening rolls around, but it’s a clean exhaustion. My body finally gets the deep, restorative rest it actually needs because I am intentionally engaging with life, rather than just bed-rotting.

Today, I have given myself exactly two realistic tasks: clean my side of the bedroom (including returning the wandering dishes back to the kitchen) and hand-wash a few pieces of laundry. I know the laundry is going to drain my energy reserves, but strangely, I am looking forward to the slow, rhythmic meditation of it.

Through all of these physical trials, I’ve noticed something beautiful: my witchy side is growing undeniably stronger. I have discovered that I possess the ability to actively transfer peaceful, grounding energy—to our dogs, and directly to my partner. I was exhausted yesterday, but I was still able to support her by rubbing her sore legs and feet, sealing the act with a protective lavender oil blessing.

When my pentacle lost its stone again two days ago, it initially left me feeling a little untethered and off-balance. But instead of spiraling, I looked down at my engagement ring and set a new, deliberate intention into the metal. I cleared it to be not just a beautiful reminder that my partner is bound to me by blood and spirit—deeply beyond the mere scope of law—but a shield of active protection. Now, even when she is miles away at work, her energetic signature is resting right against my skin. I am never truly alone in the quiet.

I am a firm believer that by allowing my body to rest when it demands it, I am finally tapping into the true depth of my own energies and latent abilities. It is incredibly frustrating when my physical body and my mind refuse to cooperate with my plans, but it is also a strange, beautiful alchemy. It forces me to pause. It commands me to listen to what my body, my spirit, and my inner child are crying out for.

Because of this deep listening, I now hold the label of High Priestess in my little coven.

I feel deeply honored to hold that title. I take the responsibility seriously, but I approach it with kindness, gentle guidance, an open mind to learn, and a ready heart to teach. I will never take that title for granted.

Even on the high-symptom days, the magic doesn't leave. It just changes shape.

With love from the shadows,

Ashley 



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